14 days from now, i should probably be at the airport, having dinner/chilling out while waiting for my flight.. tickets havent been confirmed as of now, but our guess would be the SIA flight at 2350 since it's the only available one.. there could always be changes though..

anyway, it wasn't all that good the past 2 weeks, ups and downs, to begin with, i failed my turbine engines topic with "fantango" results of 26.67%.. how good can i get man? that made me realise i totally dont have the engineering blood in me.. ahhaha, i'm still better off calculating percentages.. hmm, i would say the good thing is i got to meet up with andre and co.? and not forgetting glamis on one of my nights out.. haha.. timbre!

tsk, it's been quite pek chek in a sense that i'm still pretty "chill" about leaving, but everyone around me is busy emo-ing.. there's jon with his repeated playlists of "when you're gone" "i'm yours" "qi shi bu xiang zou" and gab with his "i can't imagine blah blah blah"

sometimes i wanna tell them "look, it's just a couple of years, and who knows, we might just come back after 6 months.." of cuz, i understand they have their own reservations about it, i have some of mine too.. but i believe, this is something i wanna pursue in, i dont mind giving up 18-21 months in singapore for my really exciting future..

yesterday, i emo-ed at night too.. jon and i were chatting in the middle of the night, and i told him, i'm afraid i'm not good enough, cuz at this point of time, i dont believe i'm "indispensable" to the organization.. haha, u know, in some places, u have the feeling that if u go, it's their loss, but i'm pretty sure if i get kicked out, it's definitely my loss..

in life, there are always certain things that have no 2nd chances to it.. in fact, i'm speaking from experience by having blown one of those chances already.. now i hope this one wont turn out that way too..

now, off to other things, i'm pretty confused about it. spent a whole lot of time telling myself, "no, that's not what u should do" and yet, part of me cant resist. wad's that i'm missing? is it a feeling just because i cant get it that's why i want it? i'm not so sure anymore. perhaps it doesn't matter, and it would really help if it could be cast aside for the time being..